It is interesting being a person who does not believe in God in this society. I find that many people make assumptions that they should not make about me and about religious beliefs, only they are hardly ever seen as the type of assumptions one should be aware of or try and be respectful of. We spend a lot of time making sure we are responsible and tolerant to the various cultural customs and beliefs that we come across, however, when it comes to the fundamental belief in if there is a God or not people get very riled up and emotional. An atheist is thought to be evil, bad, in need of help or saving or just plain wrong, more often than not.
There are assumptions that are apparent every day, like when someone says, keep us in your prayers. Well, I don’t pray… to anyone, so that is not something I can do. But when I explain that to someone in the moment, I am either met with an uncomfortable, blank stare, or a lengthy discussion which usually ends with the other person being incredibly defensive of their beliefs, or trying to convert me over to their “side.” I am usually not trying to engage in such conversations. However, I refused to be silenced into not being myself or to freely expressing who I am. It should be acceptable to express that one does not pray, or believe in God, and just move about business. However, this news is often met with pursed lips, or reactions like, “Wow, that is so negative.” or “That sounds awful.” or a condescending “Oh, I see.” Instead of simply, “Ok.” and we move on. It is just an interesting societal note. I wonder why this is, why is a belief in God assumed to be more acceptable? I assume this could be because of historical ties to religion. But even our liberated, modern society and city is still very conservative on this subject.
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I used to think exactly like you. I grew up catholic and by age 15 I lost all faith in any religion because of personal reasons. How could God permit an innocent child to be 300lbs and make him suffer throughout his childhood? 10 years later many things have happened that have scared the crap out of me. My grandmother died about 5 years ago and that got me started. I am scared of death so much and that is because I value my life and I don’t believe in any form of live after death. I am still battling whether I want to accept God or not, but sometimes when I lose complete hope, I don’t know when to turn. What do you do? Well, a couple of days ago, someone died in the family and the only way I was at peace was by connecting with God.
I am so sorry about your loss. I have suffered some losses in my time too and they are never easy. I wanted to respond to your question of what do I do. I take each day one day at a time mostly. (Or try to) Especially when I am greaving. I find, however, that I do not have comfort when I think of a God. In fact it is quite the opposite. I remember when my grandmother died. I was sitting in the church at the funeral and her casket was in the front and the preacher was talking and I mostly disagreed with every thing he was saying, about how her spirit is in a different and better place now. It actually took me out of the moment I was having of greaving, to think about what he was saying and to know that I did not believe grandma was sitting around somewhere in the sky. To me, she was just gone. She lived her beautiful life and was so wonderous to us all and now she is gone. And that is the beauty of life. It almost devalues life to me, to believe that there is something better waiting. People forget to live their lives now and to enjoy each other now, because they are always trying to “make it” to heaven or they are waiting for something better. We should just make the NOW better, right now, we should live our lives. She did. And she will live on in my memories and in my heart, but not in a fictional heaven, with streets of gold and where people can do no wrong. I will tell stories of her to my children and she will live that way. I find peace by connecting with my friends and with myself and by remembering all the good times and the things that she left behind as gifts from her life to us. It sometimes seems like it would be easier in a sense for me to believe in a god, because things appear to be much more cut and dry and answers seem to come about easier, since you have someone else telling you what to believe or think. (Be it, God or the church) However, you don’t learn to think for yourself if you always let someone else dictate your truths to you. You dont learn to figure out your own feelings and beliefs. At least that is my belief. And at the end of the day, the “answers” I seek, are never found from someone else telling me what to think or believe, they always come from me. So, I would rather not search for it from somewhere like a church or an “all powerful” being that I cannot see or feel or talk to. And I do not believe there is something cosmic universal link between us all. Unless we take biology and make that the link. We are all mammals linked by science and biology. There is still so much we do not understand about how the universe works scientifically and that fascinates me. At the end of the day, however, if you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, then believe what you want and do what you need to do to get through the pain and to move on. If there is no harm to anyone else, then it is really about what works for you and it does not matter what I say or what your priest says or anyone else for that matter. I wish you peace and comfort. And again, I am so sorry for your loss.
This is the 3rd time I have tried to post a comment! When my mother passed away in 2001 I felt her spirt around me. She was giggling as if to say “see this is what happens when you die”. Then I saw Jesus appear and reach out to her to free her from me and from this world. She did not want to leave me, but I said “GO mom GO” and she went. This was real and I will never forget it. Ever since then, I always tune in to Gods little miracles and helpin hand. I live by this rule: Faith + Action = Success.
I am glad this works for you. Again, I am not trying to tell anyone what to believe or feel or think. I am not sure if you are trying to convince me that your beliefs are correct, or if ou are just sharing your experience. It sounds a bit like you are trying to convince me that you are right. This is a topic that evokes a lot of emotion in people, and that is a curious fact to me. I am just simply stating my experience and how I choose to live my life. I used to believe in a higher power and was a very devoted religous person. I got new information and I changed my mind. If I get more, newer information, I may change my mind again. But, again, I maintain, that as long as no one is getting hurt by your beliefs (or anyone’s beliefs) then we should all be ok with everyone believing what they want to believe and what works for them. : )
I will not try to convince you, but I would like to share my experience with you. When I turned 18, I started suffering from depression. By the age of 25, I was under severe depression and suicide. I would like to say that I was raised Catholic and at this time I stilled believed in God, but I had alot of anger in my heart for Him and the whole world. I used to pray that I would die. I would cry myself to sleep every night. My life felt shattered, broken into a million pieces. I knew I needed help. I went far away to seek help because I did not want my family to know what I was going through. When I got to my destination, I started seeing a psychologist. Four months after I meet somone who invited me to church. A month later, the preacher was speaking on physical and spiritual healing for his sermon. During his sermon, he stated, “God can heal you, if you let Him.” When I got home, all I could think of was the preacher’s eight words. “God can heal you, if you let Him.” Those words kept playing over and over in my mind. In less than ten seconds, I felt something heavy being lifted off my shoulders. I felt an inner peace that I had never felt before. My body felt light; I felt I was floating in air. To this day I believe I had an out-of-body experience. In that moment I knew I was healed. My depression and suicide were lifted in an instant. All the anger I had inside left. I knew I would never cry myself to sleep again. I was still seeing the psychologist. When I went to the next appointment. I talked to her about my experience, and told her I would not be needing her services again. She said she was happy for me, but I am not sure if she believed me. WellI know what I experienced. Again, I am not trying to convince you to believe in God, but just give you something to think about.
OK. 2nd reply take two. I just lost a long reply. Of course the U.S. Constitution clearly states that we have the right to freedom of religion, and I respect other religions too. But I did want to share a story about what happened to me.
When I was teaching elementary school, and I was struggling with several serious issues in my life, I was sitting with a mentor/colleage of mine one day after school. I must have seemed very vacant to him, and since he had known me for a long time, I think he felt comfortable enough to say ” Are you a very religious person Amal?”
I was raised Christian, but the family only went to church sporadically and since I had such a large family and my father hated to drive, sometimes my parent would send us off with some friends and they would drive us to a Coptic Orthodox church. So, needless say my experiences with organized religion were rocky from the start.
As an adult when I had to go out into the world to make money and felt a little anxious about it I turned to God. He always lifted my anxiety.
That day, that Mr. Tabuchi asked me if I was very religious was just a sign. I was taken aback by the question, but I understood his hint to get back in tune with what really matters. I guess what I am trying to say is that his caring questions makes me realize and what I am trying to say is “God is Love”
I do have one more question if you don’t mind answering. What changed your mind?
Thanks for the reply… please see me post for this week.
Testing to see if comment will come out. Third try
I know how you feel being an Atheist too. However, I cannot accept 2000-year-old supersticions created for the most part by ignorant people in order to become more acceptable. There are more Atheists in this country than most minorities. Thank goodness as of late we are being accepted by the so-called religious majority, most of whom don’t truly believe and practically none of whom live their religion.
I have seen nothing in this world that points to the existence of a god. Moreover, when I read a book that talks of virgin births, men who live to be 900 years old, killing Gays, talking snakes, accepting slavery, walking on water, turning water into wine, etc., well, then I put that book into the hateful fiction section of my library, where it belongs. Although, turning water into a 20-year-old fine Cabernet might sound like a good idea.